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Showing posts from April, 2006

The Match

The start of the match. I was going at full speed. Vigorously charging down at midfielders, sweeping past the defenders and there's only the keeper to beat. The maiden shot was blocked. There were times in the match, the first half; discouraging moments I have. The ball I shot was either heading towards the hands of the keeper to be deflected, or else heading towards the spectators. I was silenced by the beauty of sadness beyond words, or in this case, kicks. Those times were just times that can pull you so deep down under the currents of spectating pressures that you felt no matter how many saving tackles you made, how brave your header was, or how brilliant your footwork was, it's just the ball over the line that will matter. Nothing else. Second half's beckoning. With a blow of the whistle the battle's started. And a blow of the whistle for 5 more times signalled the beginning of a duel; the keeper and myself. The goal is in front of me now. I step up to position mys

All or Nothing

I know when he's been on your mind That distant look is in your eyes I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over It's not the way I choose to live And something somewhere's gotta give A share in this relationship gets older, older You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there I had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair Coz I want it all Or nothing at all There's nowhere left to fall When you reach the bottom it's now or never Is it all Or are we just friends Is this how it ends With a simple telephone call You leave me here with nothing at all There are times it seems to me I'm sharing you with memories I feel it in my heart but I don't show it, show it Then there're times you look at me As thought I'm all that you could see Those times I don't believe it's right I know it, know it Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep t

rantings of redeyes III

You know you are fooling everyone but yourself if you're happy in front of everyone except her. Sometimes you cannot help but feel angry, because you know you shouldn't have fallen for her. But since you have, you will try your very best to fake happiness when you are with her, and sooner or later you notice it's not just this relationship that is in jeopardy, but also the relationship between you and your friends. You know that sometimes you just cannot lie to your heart, because it does not. And since it doesn't, the best part is that it forces you to fall in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen for, and that makes you think of all sorts of nonsensical things and do all kind of stupid stuffs for her. Maybe time will tell you that it is not going to work, but it just seems, more often than not, that you will not listen. You know too sometimes you manage to get the answer that you are looking for but not the answer that you want. You will just force yourself

rantings of redeyes II

There are times in this world when you feel as though the many things that you have done bear no meaning at all. Those times remind you of the sad sad times, sad sad dramas or just the sad sad people and you start to cry. Then after you cry you start to realize what a fool you have just been, because they ain't no worth you crying for them. There are times too for the many things that have been done, someone somewhere will remember them and gladly put those things into her treasure box, carefully seal it within the closed door of her heart, keeping it for herself only. Those times make you feel as though the many things that you have done, you could have done just a million times more for her. Clearly the two paragraphs above show the difference between the sad sad times when people just cannot appreciate you and the happy times when people can appreciate you. By no means should the sad times and the happy times mingle together in your mind, but sometimes you cannot help it. The mi

rantings of redeyes I

It's utterly unimaginable in every possible way to start blowing one's horn when the wind is firing at you mercilessly. The thunderous sound just boomeranged back to oneself and in the end that's all he hears, and only he hears it. It's impossible to match justice with love. Merciless killers are sadists. Lovers are pure hypocrites. Period. It's ironical how we can say we hate robots and technologies but we live like them and with them. Justification of words does not mean justification of actions. The question - Does justification of actions mean justification of words then? It's shocking to know that a profound truth can be known and loved and despised and hated all at the same time. The profound truth then seeps into many people for some period of time, and transfers itself to some other places, some other people, some other time. This endless recurring process is called the Circle of Profound-Truth-Which-Lies. Finally, it's amazing how conducive an envir

To Kevin's beloved ones

Most of the time when I start to write, I think of a few names that have played a significant role in making me thought of that piece of writing. Then there are times when the names are so few, I can only get one. There are times too when I can get none, but just fleeting memories of some. Those times remind me of many things that come rushing in like the anxiety of waiting for a call from someone I love and miss but angered, like eagerly looking forward to getting a *nudge* from her and of course, the mixed feelings of getting to see her. What I will do most of the times when I start thinking about all these things is that I will continue typing without stopping and I will take a very deep breath in between sentences. The weird thing is somehow I feel if I pause too long, the thoughts I have will go away, and I am left alone to regret taking too long a pause. Now that I think of it, I do not want to leave anything unsettled, unsaid and unproven. If ever those 3 words bear meanings tha

Feelings

Sometimes silence is better than a thousand words because it saves your breath but sometimes it does kick a person up in the ass Sometimes you see, you listen and you talk and you wonder if all you need to do is just be silent those times do kick you up the ass instead Then there are times when words are better because they say and actions and silence don't to make your feelings known So sometimes words are better and sometimes silence is If you ask me all I can say is that feelings; feelings are not shown when words and silence collide

Sun in the Rain

the rain is like a shower in the big blue sky droplets falling down without knowing why and there are times when the sun is there and mixed feelings out of nowhere then the rain stops and the pleasant feeling is gone now you see a rainbow with colours radiantly shone the feelings you have are not terrible but painful the excruciating pain is not pain but it hurts somehow you see the rainbow come and go its magnificent display in the sky is temporal but somehow along the way you see it again but time and time you know long the years it will drain then the feelings come and go as the rainbow like the rain which has stopped by now as how the rain smeared your face by the window so did it shrink the heart, melt it in sorrow; let not tears be tears themselves but water poured meaningfully like the rain just as how the rain came and went so let the tears come and go without refrain

Silhoutte

sometimes when you miss a person too much your heart cries but then it stops it seems always that missing the shallow rivers brings about the mighty seas but sometimes it hurts if that person you miss you see too much then your heart cries again because now the shallow rivers brings about boots and its share of spoilt somehow you realize that the person you miss will make your heart cry it just seems too painful a try to even let that person come near because a heart is a heart and stone can never replace the one your dear around you the air seem thin enough to dissipate everytime you passeth by but with each of your silhoutte comes my heart with a cry because of the darling loss of that of missing a person just too much

The Night

Night of cries silent tears each here bears the tear Never more to bask in awe the silence raw fills each soul e' flaw Dreams of tears introduce fears notion of far and near of highest heavenly peers Night of cries Night of convictions Night of cries Night of silence