Life's Little Lamentation

There are no words to atone for the sin of grieving, as far as grief is concerned, it is timed, like a well-oiled but unused clock chiming helplessly, frozen in a perpetual state. What are words now but a muted son's words, as far as she is concerned, it is timed, like a feline licking its wounds moaning hopefully, dreading death's cold door. There are no words to atone for the sin of grieving, as far as grief is concerned, it is passed, like a missed train at a wrong station tooting haplessly, honing human's humour.

This blog had been left untouched for a very long time. Not because I did not have the time for it, but because I was too preoccupied with other less important things. Much similarities to certain aspects of my life right now. People say that there is no cure for stupidity, I would say, give them time, for they know not what they have done. That's pretty much the gist of it; sometimes though, you knew, yet you still did. I wish I had maintained it consistently, much like this blog. However unvisited, or unpopular, much like the rubbles at the corner of a desolated street, there will be the occasional traveler daring enough (or silly or bored) to find his way there. It is the anticipation of that moment that may well justify and warrant the work put into maintaining something. Sometimes you find yourself digging the same hole again and again, and keep falling in it. No matter how many times you picked yourself up in the past, you feel a need to keep doing it. I know there is no excu...

The sun shines an eternity of flame but that masks its true hunger for freedom. Sometimes life makes me feel just like that when I am burnt out (no pun intended), living at the expense of death, cheering on the many crumbs that could afford the truth. Yet no less than half of as much lies would cheer a falling apple. And not a single one of those truths/lies could afford longevity. That is what I crave, but there is only so much of truths which sustain, and fragility of the moment's solitude never seem enough to justify the failure to justify. An act of defiance with a little bit of courage will seek out the valor, but the timid me refused to move. Then I feel as though the sun has just expended itself, and died, and withered away. Masquerading fears seems to extol the life in me, and them spending all my energy worrying on something that does not exist, made them proud. Only the persistent immaculate being would persist, and wrongly persuade me of an otherwise uneventful setting. ...

Distance needs tooooooooo long an explanation for me to describe how it changed us.

Before truth there were first lies and from lies came more lies and then truth was no more and darkness seeped into my heart. Before words there were first gestures and from them came hints and then words were no more and sadness seeped into my heart. Before love there were first lies and words and from them came love and then love embraced them and happiness became us.

I wonder if there is only one word I could utter before I could die What would it be for me? What would it be for you for me? I wonder if I wonder too much I know I would have not if I would not What would I not speak, of you? What would I know? Yet, I would not know if I would have known less I know a little too much What would I gain for knowing? What would I lose if not? I could only wonder if I would only utter what you want me to, or what I would want myself do.

Sang a lonely, lonesome, loathsome fool I had the luck to chance upon He stuck it in my head I had to sing. Sang a lonely, lonesome, loathsome fool I had to sing... He would not stop I had to sing...

Secrets make my life fuller because they lie to me because they make me love myself because they make me hope. Secrets make my day brighter because they hide the sun because they make her go away because they make me leave. Secrets make my secrets because they love to because they want to because they have to.

Time personifies my life even when she has no form, and with no reason she takes form and strikes when you least expect. Beware, of Time she who has no soul, and with no reason she takes flight and rewards the brave, with malice

May this small little post brings about an understanding of my small little self, and that you will know I love every inch of you, and your small little thoughts.

There were once when I thought the sun rises only when you rise, your spellbinding beaute, serve my sight with unimaginative awe, and by that treat I would soon find truth. No more would another glance be free beyond the seas I make real, my enemi abundans, for they too were mesmerised, and by that same charm my flaws are amplified. We found time and time willed the sun sets before you could rise, your likeness fading, and the memories you have bequeathed intwine with the ones you have stole. For it has come to this that the sun rises when you should rise, but if I may I may, care less of that than to see exactly how many sunsets away I am.

The fleeting images passed me by along that corridor where the lights dimmed the footsteps were silent as they neared and the bells peeled faintly as you murmured. Strange words apprehended the arrival the urge to feed almost tore me apart the beast within was forced to awake as the intoxicating you was perfumed fast. The thrill of a homecoming feast welcomed at the bosom of my nemesis I gained strength and courage to fight off the pretenders utopia is within my reach and be mine tonight. For a share of this triumphant victory a chance was placed by their wings to meet the maker's pact with death's own perversion the obstacles made clear the fear that had killed. The fleeting images became translucent the lights were darkness as I awoke to find the footsteps halted in treachery my el dorado had revealed a cunning plot! Fleeting images could not salvage the savage beast the maker's rash abandonment had me lured that it sneered and snapped at my knees and my body broke witho...

there's only so many places he could traverse along that road much trodden that he may miss no treasures - he shall find comfort in her whispers; she claimed her false pretense true, and if so, I should yet have caught on! much may my words be futile, misread as want for a smile, words of which she showed contempt alas a thousand songs could be sung and much of his endearment shall be ruffled off his mark and manner, yet his is an over-being watching o'er her his living a silent bearer much be missed and so passed he, son of she in the late hour of late be peace (that has held him thus far) unto him, and hers a solemn pride sung as hymn.

Run, I wish I had a dog named Run. That way I can make him run and run, I'd say - Run! Run run run! Fetch me that bark too big, Run. Run, would you please get me the ketchup? Run, run run run! Don't you dare stop! I made you mine and you shall run Fetch me the towel too wet, Run. Run, now I wish I have ten of you. I need one to run there and the other too I'd say - Runs, Run run run! Run for your master race he cannot run.

Kill a shadow rip him from legs to limbs and tear my flesh from his I long to crawl out of his skin. Kill a shadow exorcise his bones with fire and capsize his soul with vomit I long to feast on his demise. Kill a shadow turn him on his sides and stab his youthful body I long to draw endless blood. Kill a shadow pull on his stale hair and yank a chunk of hair, brain I long to drink mind's juice Kill a shadow trip over his body and pierce only myself I long to kill that cannot live.

He is not what he was and he laments he thinks he conforms yet he dies He is rigid and lifeless and he laments he thinks he knows yet he denies He is not what he was and he laments he is shackled and bound yet he abides He is not what he was and he laments his inability to sing and his relentless demise. He is not;- now he attempts to be what he was but I can tell you and he will lament the truth.

The water clears my blood with murky diseases into which my mind swims and confiscates my lethargy What is with my world of knowledge? Is it bound by injustice? Could I survive by hoping or by external pleading? There is somewhere I know a place we all call home that is a place where murky waters are for pigs I dream suffocating dreams the rough call of silence greet my wake up to a nightmare another escapes to a brand new day What is more important than life? the bravery of revelation, now cries freedom, shackled by one country's religion

i am insecure as mistakable as grey colored stones i stand alone now on a lonesome peak i have conquered half the world and isolation have me thrilled i am insecure and i shall remain so for i dissect the truth and lies are all i am left.

I was once long to see a fair maiden in she my heart abides every single minutes are a precious to check of her constrains She will sing her lovely duet songs alone, in her lovely house every time I glances at her my heart does a goldfish leap! I was once long to be with she when she cries, it is my crisis near the time when she throw up yesterday's salad and steak I was once long seen a fair maiden in my heart her features impress she folds my heart into a heart It looks better that way, she says.

Has she a summer sun long shield thee? suns doth concern a higher helm of healing heed not the silver sparkling half-true accessories nor the bright burning seas of golden blight neccessary and forlorn fields of fine false feathers mourn the cold chilling death of one true whither a forgotten a nether world knows no greed for suns doth concern a host of greater needs not the unwavering union of undulating usurpations nor the shrill shimmering cry of man-folk's delegations enlightening eden's best kept beasts and foolish deeds empowering her wish with enterprising self belief p/s - i want to do something like the chun sonnet style, but anything beyond the basic is apparently too much for me to handle. Can't seem to make the last two lines tab out.